Love is a Choice. PART I.


“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” 
― Lao Tzu

They say your third love will always be the greatest and most purest. The one you end up with. Your soulmate. Now, I think this is accurate to a certain extent. I am blessed to be experiencing a love like this, one that challenges me daily and encourages me to be the best version of myself. But what I don’t like about this saying is the misconception of a fantasy. The reality is a love like this will sweep you off your feet. But as the dust settles, and you return back on the ground, you will quickly realize that it is a choice to keep nurturing this love. To keep working at it. To continue to put your best effort despite the annoyances and petty arguments. Love is a choice. A choice to accept a person, flaws and all, and continue to love that person even when you do not like them very much at a particular moment. That my friends, is the REAL prize in love, the most vulnerably beautiful part of it.

I never saw him coming. I was at a place in my life that I have given up on the concept of love. Being in a previous relationship for 7 years that seemed to destroy the core of me, mentally and emotionally, I didn’t think I was capable of finding real love. Maybe I wasn’t worthy enough because previous encounters and relationships confirmed these notions. Honestly, at first, I didn’t even give him the time of day.

I met him July 2014. I was working at The Hard Rock Casino. It was a Sunday night and my shift ended at 10:30 PM. I was excited to get off and relax, to begin my “weekend.” My roommate clearly had other plans. Originally, the plan was to go out and sing karaoke. She was dating a guy at the time and he was bringing a friend. I was not feeling the potential of a double date. But she assured me that a mutual friend of ours was tagging along, so that threw off the odds. I remember being so tired that I threw a t shirt and khakis on, wore minimal makeup, and went out just like that. All I wanted to do was throw back some drinks and unwind. The plans changed, karaoke no longer being the goal, and we ended up at a nearby bar called Peabody’s. He had just recently moved from New York and didn’t even have an ID…and we were at a bar…yeah. So most of the night we were bringing drinks outside for him since he couldn’t even step foot inside the bar. Lol. I realized very quickly what he brought to the table- amazing conversation and great vibes. He was a very likable person, very personable. And I STILL didn’t give him the time of day! I automatically placed him in the friend zone. Despite enjoying his company and having a wonderful night in his company. We went to a hookah lounge after and spent hours picking each other’s brains about music and future goals. The next morning he slid in the dm’s and gave me his phone number. I texted him back with my number, and that was that. Throughout the months, he kept in touch, coming out of the blue to check up on me. He seemed to give me just enough space, but popped up enough to remain relevant.

Christmas Party at Jackson’s Bistro
December 2014

It was December 2014. I was planning a Christmas party for the company I worked for. Everyone was allowed to bring a date. Call it pride, ego, whatever, but I couldn’t accept the possibility of going to a party that I had planned, without a date. I wasn’t involved with anyone. But for whatever reason, I immediately thought of him. He was always to cool to talk with. He could keep up with my type of conversation and never seemed to run out of words. He never made me feel uncomfortable and was always respectful. Even if he was just a friend, I thought it would be enjoyable to attend a Christmas party with him. And I was so right. That party we entered as friends, but left as something undefined. He definitely had my attention now. But still, I had NO idea what we were about to become.

To be Continued…