Guardian of Dreams

“In dreams, we enter a world that is entirely our own.” – Albus Dumbledore

Originating in Native American culture, dreamcatchers has symbolized strength and unity throughout many generations. The purpose of a dreamcatcher is to swing freely above your bed, catching dreams floating by. It is believed that the good dreams know how to pass freely through the dreamcatcher, while the bad dreams get tangled up as if they are insects caught in a spider’s web.

I’m an avid dreamer. My dreams are often vivid and constant. Some nights they make absolutely no sense, as if I’m trying to decipher Morse code. Other nights they are terrifying, causing me to jolt out of my sleep in night sweats. And some nights, they are so comforting that I long to live in the dream world permanently. One of my best friends made me a dreamcatcher as a Christmas gift last year that still hangs over my bed to this day. Earlier this year, I was in a very painful mental space. I wasn’t sleeping. My nightmares haunted me. I often questioned myself…my sanity. I felt as if every layer of skin was being peeled back to expose me. To everyone else, I seemed fine. But internally, waking up each day and participating as a normal citizen in life seemed more difficult than it should have.

I began journaling consistently. I would write down random thoughts, poems, vents, whatever could come to mind. Anything that would allow me some relief and clear my mind. A lot of my journal entries were often sad and filled with pain. The other night, I was looking through my old journal entries. Reading back on them often puts my present into perspective. I came across a journal entry from January 7, 2019. It was one of those sleepless nights. I spent the night sitting in the dark looking up to the dreamcatcher that hung over my bed. It reads:

Dreamcatcher hangs over my bed

Dreamcatcher, work your magic

Catch the unwanted dreams that sink into the depths of my soul

The painful, engrained memories that haunt me when my eyes close

The muffled cries that escape from my mouth and leaves me exposed

The ghosts of nightmare’s past, nightmares I refuse to let go

Dreamcatcher, please do not judge me

Please accept that I am wounded, scarred, and beyond your repair

Please hold my secrets and fears

Please secure them in your netted home

Shower your love and light over me throughout the darkest realms

Dreamcatcher, I am scared

No one has an idea

No one knows that I am darkness itself, disguised as a flower blooming in a field

So you’re wondering what is the purpose of sharing this? To show you that it is okay to be broken. It’s okay to rely on an object for strength. Religion, beliefs. Fantasies, or even magic. Sometimes we need a bit of magic to keep pushing ourselves to carry on. You believe in whatever you need to, as long it’s not self destructive. You see, like a dreamcatcher, we are all connected in our pain. Netted and entangled with our individual problems and situations. And when we realize that we are connected in pain, we become a unity and beacon of hope. We open channels for necessary conversations that will ultimately lead to our healing. We become strength itself. Some nights I find myself awake in the middle of the night, staring at my dreamcatcher. Thanking God, the universe, and my lucky stars that I am not in the same mental space as I was in before. Acknowledging that I still have some work to do within myself, to heal. And on those bad nights that creep up on my every now and then, I close my eyes and vow to release the thoughts to the dreamcatcher, hoping somehow it guides my message to God. Sending all of my love to those who need it and saving some for myself. Happy Tuesday, my beautiful readers!

Feel free to check me out on Instagram: ang_meets_soul for more content ❤

Keeping Calm with ASMR

Any time I mention ASMR, I either get a puzzled or a disturbed look from others. Many people either do not know about ASMR or they have major misconceptions about the current fad that is becoming more mainstream, especially in commercials- just think of the 2019 Super Bowl commercial featuring Zoe Kravitz and a Michelob beer. Before a few months ago, I was one of those people who had absolutely no clue what it was. Initially mentioned to me by a close friend, I shrugged it off until I discovered that one of my Instagram followers had a YouTube channel for ASMR. Full of curiosity, I decided to check it out. Dougha ASMR was my first experience and I absolutely loved it! Btw, check out her channel (pic below) 😊 Haven’t looked back since. I can honestly say I watch at least one ASMR video per day. It has done wonders for my mental health.  

What is ASMR? ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response which provides tingling sensations in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound. Please note that these ‘tingles’ are not usually sexual, although some forms of ASMR has been extremely sexualized. These sounds are labeled as triggers and often promote relaxation, and has been known to help with anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Those who have gone down the ASMR rabbit hole, continue to rave about the benefits. So much, that these claims have caught the attention of several psychologists interested in conducting scientific research about the benefits of ASMR. Dr. Giulia Poerio of the University of Sheffield’s Department of Psychology conducted a study and found that those who engaged in ASMR reported feeling relaxed, as well as feeling more positive and socially connected. There were also reports of decreased heart rates and increased endorphins in brain activity. These findings are comparable to findings of stress reduction techniques such as meditation. However, not everyone experiences the phenomenon of ASMR.  Scientists believe this is due to neurological nuances between different people, as well as some personality parameters. Stephen Smith, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Winnipeg, conducted a study in which 290 individuals with ASMR and 290 matched controls completed the Big Five Personality Inventory. Research showed that people who experience ASMR demonstrated significantly higher scores on Openness and Neuroticism, and significantly lower levels of Conscientiousness, Extraversion, and Agreeableness compared to matched controls. What this means is that if you experience ASMR, you tend to be more creative and have a broad range of interests, along with being more likely to experience sadness and anxiety. On the flipside, you are more likely to despise set schedules and often feel exhausted after socializing. There’s a whole science to it!

Speaking of triggers, I have a few I am found of. I really enjoy personal attention ASMR, the kind that tells you positive affirmations and how much you are appreciated. There are even some videos that do reiki cleansing and alleviate headaches; LOVE them. I also enjoy scratching sounds, especially when it is mic scratching- it literally sounds like howls of wind. And then there are some triggers I DO NOT like, like the videos of people eating excessive food, formally known as Mukbang. This was originated in South Korea and has grown popularity in the states. I noticed that when you search tags on IG for ASMR, Mukbang is what usually comes up. I can tolerate a video or two of it, but after a while, all of the mouth and chewing sounds makes my stomach turn. There is so much more than Mukbang, trust me! Some suggestions I have for ‘ASMRtists’ is Gibi ASMR- the queen of mic scratching; Karuna Satori ASMR- I love her reiki cleansing and fixes for insomnia; Batalas ASMR- she does a lot of fast and aggressive triggers which helps me concentrate hardcore; and of course Dougha ASMR- who opened my awareness with ASMR and has a really dope roleplay video for Cranial Eye Exam. For kicks and giggles, you can also find a video of Cardi B doing ASMR; I have to admit, I’m pleasantly surprised at how good she did.

ASMR is not for everyone, but I hope I have been able to shed some positive light on it. I have nothing but positive things to say about it, even when my own friends shun me and say I’m weird for enjoying it lol. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask away! I am not expert, but I am interested enough to dig around and find some research on it. Thank you for reading and happy Hump Day!