Sex is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.
Marquis de Sade
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free…
SHUT THE EFF UP. Take your opinions, place those opinions on a spiked bat, and shove the bat up your… *breathes deep* I despise this phrase. Why? First of all, it places ‘price tags’ on women as if we are objects instead of human beings. I believe I speak for all women when I say, we cannot be bought. This is not rent to own. There will be no owning, PERIOD! Second of all, it has placed unnecessary insecurities and shame amongst generations of women. So much so, that several women actually question their worth and wonder if they are relationship worthy. They wonder if men will think any less of them for expressing themselves sexually and allowing intercourse to occur on the first date. And can you blame these women for their insecurities? Slut shaming and other demoralizing ways of attacking a woman’s character has been the norm for decades. Third of all, it has placed rules on an action that comes so naturally to us all, men AND women. Why is it better to wait for date #3 to have sex as opposed to the first date? It’s not like you know that person that much more extensively. It’s still a short amount of time in comparison! Trust me, takes YEARS to fully get to know someone. And having sex on the first date does not mean that you will automatically get ghosted. Yet, these misconceptions continue to focus on repressing female sexuality causing many women to feel confused as to what is considered the ‘right’ thing to do. Don’t get me wrong- I am not advocating that all women should have sex on the first date. However, I feel that every woman is entitled to make this decision without judgment from others.
What constitutes as a date?
Personally, I feel any time that is scheduled with another person one on one with the intent of spending time solely with that person, would be considered a date. Can be as elaborate as making reservations at the top restaurant in town or as simple as Netflix and Chill (although this method makes it super tempting to have sex right away!). Honestly, there’s no rules to this shit. You’re attracted to a person, you make a move to hang out, then 9 times out of 10, it’s a date. But of course, if it is established that the hang out is solely for sex, then consider it a booty call…I guess. Oh, the technicalities.
You think you want to have sex on the first date…
You meet this guy. You both go out to dinner. He’s f**king beautiful. He smells good. His sense of style is on point. Conversation is bomb. He seems genuinely interested in what you have to say. He has ideas, input, SUBSTANCE. The chemistry is unmatched. And by the time the bill comes around and he automatically reaches to pay, you’re hot and heavy and wondering what it’s like under the hood. Go for it! I am a firm believer in energy. If the energy feels right, then why not? More often than not, sex is a strong indicator of the connection between two people. Sex plays an important role within any healthy relationship and allows intimacy to flourish. Making this decision should not diminish your chances of forming a long-term relationship, but only contribute to whether or not you could potentially see a future with this person. As long as the feeling is mutual and consensual, don’t overthink it. It’s all about your own comfort levels. And if you decide to take the plunge, I HIGHLY encourage that you use protection. You may know that the chemistry is amazing but you do not know him. Safe sex is still the wave sis.
You’re against the idea of first date sex…
Honestly, that’s okay too! There are many reasons why women decide not to have sex on a first date. Some women want to get to know the person a little more and build a comfort level before sharing intimacy with them. Some request that their partner get tested before sexual intercourse (smart!). Others feel that sex is enhanced once there are solid, romantic and emotional feelings towards their partners, so they rather wait for that connection. There should not be any form of reverse shaming for deciding to wait either. We are all entitled to making the best decisions for ourselves and our bodies and spirits, dependent on whatever circumstances. This choice should be yours and yours only! If you are not comfortable or have any doubts, then listen to your gut feelings. Deciding not to have sex right away should also not diminish your chances of forming a long lasting relationship.
My stance on having sex on the first date…
I’m totally for it! Every time? No. But there has been certain situations where I felt I connected with my date on so many levels and felt extreme attraction to this person, so I went for it. Most times I did not regret it lol. Other times, I ran for the hills and became Casper- the UNFRIENDLY ghost. Super ghosted. And I NEVER feel ashamed, whatever the outcome. I am a grown woman who enjoys sex. I am in charge of my own emotions and body, and I am fully capable of making decisions that I feel 100% comfortable making. When I made a decision to do so, I practiced safe sex and would regularly get tested. Granted my dating days are long gone now…someone found me worthy *insert upside down smiley face emoji* Just goes to show you, a decision like this won’t ruin your chances of finding love and commitment.
What is your choice?
I am curious to hear from all of you. Calling all ladies! Do you believe in having sex on the first date? What are some of your reasons behind this decision? Or are you completely against it? Why? I would love to hear some male perspectives as well. Do you think less of a woman when she has sex on the first date? Do you automatically label her as someone you are unwilling to form a relationship with? Let’s bridge the gap and start a real conversation about this. Looking forward to all of your feedback and stories. Stay assertive, friends.
For more content, please follow me on Instagram at @ang_meets_soul
“Better to see something once than to hear about it a thousand times.” ―Asian Proverb
Whenever I think of France, I think of the city of Paris. Paris was the goal, initially. But you cannot want what you do not know, and all I knew of was Paris. Of course, I would love to see the Eiffel Tower, shimmering in the night sky. However, when a company you work for offers to send you to France to present a topic on one of the articles you’ve written, all expenses paid, you jump on that opportunity! So that’s exactly what I did. I had no idea what to expect, or what part of France we would be. Honestly, I didn’t care. All I knew is that I was grateful to have this opportunity. As a matter of fact, this trip taught me the art of gratitude and the beauty of disconnection. I will admit that this trip was far different than any of the other places I’ve traveled. A pleasant surprise. But more importantly, this trip taught me what it really means to step out of your comfort zone. Ironic- that was the topic I was presenting while in France. I had no idea that I would be pushed even more outside of my comfort zone than I already had prepared myself to do.
Our flight was on a Monday night at 7:45 PM. I was traveling with my manager and her husband. While waiting to board the plane, I overanalyzed my presentation and wondered if it was up to par to present in front of other people, let alone to my colleagues. I wondered if I would remain poise during the presentation. This particular topic meant the world to me because I was currently living it. My life had changed so drastically over the past year, that I am barely recognizable to myself- and it’s great! But still, I wondered if I would be considered ‘good’ enough. I am one of the youngest in the company, so it can be a bit intimidating. Finally, we boarded the plane and I prepared to settle into my seat. After 10 hours, 2 movies, and in and out of the worst sleep I’ve ever endured, we landed in Frankfurt, Germany for our layover. What seemed like a short wait, we then proceeded to board the plane to head to Toulouse, France. So I thought Toulouse would be our final destination, but it was not…in hindsight, now I know why we rented a car. We drove two hours to the small, quaint town of La Salvetat-Peyrales. Way high in the mountains, where civilization is questionable, stores are borderline non existent, with dirt roads lining miles of land, and not one sign of a street light lol. Turns out that one of the big bosses in the company bought a house in France with her husband about 5 years ago after finding it during their honeymoon. Honestly, the house is stunning and very much reminded me of my favorite Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast. When Belle sung about ‘this poor, provincial town’ she was talking about here. But I do not mean one ounce of disrespect. It is a very simple lifestyle filled with beauty.
The house came with 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, an outdoor sitting area overlooking a pool, an upstairs lounge area placed outside of the house, and a family room. Some of us were able to stay here, while the rest of us stayed in a cottage about 15 min. walking distance down the road. I was one of the guests who did not get to stay here, but day in and day out for the next 6 days, we spent the majority of our days here presenting, strategizing, and taking trainings in an attempt to better the company and keep it growing- very cozy and family style. Which speaking of the cottage, I know the country life is not for me for the simple fact that it is way too dark and quiet for my liking. Every night while I was in France, I barely slept because I felt the place was either haunted or there would be some crazed killer out there to get me!
We arrived to the house around 5:00 PM where I met the gracious host for the first time. Between the 6 hour time difference, the long flights, and the long drive over here, I could have used some perking up. And that is when we were greeted with glasses of champagne and wine lol. One thing this trip allowed all of us to do is BOND. And I’m not talking that fake kind of bonding where you try to impress one another and hide all evidence of any flaws. Throughout the trip, we got REAL. And I realized in these moments that I DO NOT work for a conventional company- I loved every minute of it! France has a tradition called apéro which means cocktail hour, served with drinks and small appetizers. We celebrated apéro each day we were there so I ate and drank A LOT. The first night there, while enjoying the cocktail hour outside in their hosting area, I couldn’t believe my surroundings. Candles lit everywhere, a cozy fire burning, and GREAT red wine (I don’t even drink red wine like that unless it’s sweet). Total vineyard vibes.
The next few days we dived straight into work. There was not much sight seeing throughout the week, but in our off hours, we gathered together drinking more wine and champagne, and eating more food lol. This was definitely a social trip, for sure. I was worried I would be pre-judged and stereotyped (which was very possible, since I decided it was perfectly ok to wear my Poetic Justice hoodie with an enlarged picture of Tupac on the front lmao one time for the culture though!) After my experience with my last job, you could say I’m scarred but it was the complete opposite. Everyone was so authentic and encouraged one another to do so. So many jokes and laughs. But anyways, back to the food and drinks!
This is common drink in South France. It smells of black licorice and is definitely an acquired taste. Usually served with one ice cube and diluted with water because it is STRONG. But by all means, if you feeling froggy…
A lot of pork is eaten in France from various hams to salamis to bruschetta. The French also consume a lot of bread, olives, and various vegetables such as tomatoes and lentils. However, all produce has to be in season. Nothing is imported to France, so all produce is locally grown. If it is not in season, it does not exist to eat or sell.
A fig picked from a tree in the host’s backyard
We did venture out to a few restaurants where we ate authentic French food. It was definitely an adventure trying to decipher the menu and then order the items in French lol. Google was my best friend throughout this trip!
We went to a restaurant called L’oustal del Barry. As you can see the portions are much smaller than we are accustomed to in the U.S. However, these are three course meals- appetizer, main entrée, and dessert. Add that with wine and bread and trust me, you’re good and full! I ordered the ravioli, lamb, and a Nutella mousse cake.
When we weren’t going to restaurants, the host was cooking at the house. One of my favorite meals while there was the duck confit. If you’ve never tried duck, you’re doing yourself an injustice. Although I have eaten duck in the U.S before, I never tasted duck so amazing than I did in France.
Duck confit with spinach salad, lentils, and bread…of course!
Another item I tried was unpasteurized cheese…and this is not sold in the U.S. because it is considered unsafe to consume raw milk cheeses. But it is the best tasting cheese you will ever taste in your life!
In France, dessert IS THE LAW. Don’t ever turn down a dessert in a restaurant. I did that once and they looked at me as if I committed a crime. An honorable dessert mention was banoffee, which is basically banana foster pie. SO DELICIOUS…
As the week wrapped up, work slowed down. It was Friday and my presentation was pushed to Saturday due to all of us running behind schedule. In addition, we had to drive two hours to the small village of Roquefort-sur-Soulzon, where we would tour the Roquefort Caves. Legend has it, that after the Combalou Mountain collapsed and parts of the mountain disintegrated into a giant, chaotic heap of rocks riddled with natural faults and caves. These caves were ingeniously adapted for the purpose of cheese-making. Yes, I said cheese making. Fleurines, which are small tunnels that run throughout the caves makes it the perfect temperature and humidity to develop Roquefort cheese, with the help of microorganisms such as penicillium roqueforti. These caves have been transformed to a cellar that now holds as many as 300,000 loaves of cheese at a time. They had samples of the cheese, in which I tried, but it was a bit too strong tasting for my preference. This cheese is for the brave.
Saturday approached and it was the big day for my presentation. I wish someone could have recorded me or taken pictures. Everyone was so wrapped up in my topic and I had their undivided attention, which is great! My presentation included thought provoking questions that helped others realize the benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone. I got amazing feedback and was not mentally prepared AT ALL for how emotional my presentation made everyone. It was a room full of 10 people and not one person was dry eyed. I had stirred something in them emotionally and one by one, they started confessing things they felt they have held themselves back due to staying in their own comfort zones. It became a roundtable discussion with raw and honest answers of circumstances they struggled with. Each one would start crying as they openly became vulnerable and in return, provoked me to cry as well. But it was not until one of my colleagues opened up about her desire to be married with kids. That she felt she held herself back from finding someone to share her life with. That she feels she will spend her life alone. As she approaches her 30th birthday, she feels she has failed in this area of life. And I thought to myself, “maybe she has valid points, or maybe it’s just simply not her time yet.” And in that moment, I felt the need to share a painful truth of my own- the loss of a child. I didn’t share to be pitied. Honestly, it’s been one hell of a journey and I owe it all to my baby in heaven. If it wasn’t for me going through that situation, I would have never had the courage to write again. I would have never had the courage to leave my job and fall into a better one. I would not have the courage to submit my work to a local magazine and score a guest column. I owe everything to my angel. Sometimes, it is just the timing. Sometimes, we need the time and certain situations to happen to force us to learn and grow through. So that’s exactly what I told her. That her time will come, just like it will for me when the timing is right. And then we cried some more lol. I was so raw and vulnerable and yet, somehow poised. I was authentic and I caused others to take a deep look within themselves. Everyone raved so much about my presentation that I caught the attention of the CEO, so that’s an amazing feeling! I don’t want to overkill on this particular highlight of my trip but it was the main purpose of me going to France in the first place. I am just so relieved that not only did I execute it, I connected with my colleagues in ways I could not have imagined having the power to do so. A major accomplishment in my book.
After the presentation (and after we pulled ourselves together lol), we headed into the city of Albi, France for some more sight seeing. Albi was a charming city with streets lined with boutiques and restaurants. It was a nice change to see some civilization lol. We stumbled upon the Sainte-Cecile, a gothic cathedral dating back to 1280. It is considered the largest red-brick cathedral in the world. Every inch of the interior is decorated with extravagant tiles, gold leaf, and frescoes. You can visit the church and attend an audio tour for just 5 euros. It was definitely money well spent. Make sure you click on the slideshow to see inside 🙂
We had a late lunch in the city and continued to browse around in the small shops that paved the cobblestone streets. I was able to snag a cute shot glass that resembled a miniature wine glass, which seemed so perfect coming from France. The trip into the city was short lived and we headed back to the countryside to prepare for our last dinner spent together. We would all leave in the early morning. (Side note: in France, the majority of cars are manual aka stick shift. In order to get your license, you must be able to pass driving a manual before you can even think to be able to drive an automatic).
In the city square of Albi. I couldn’t help but capture this photo of these beautiful flowers splashed with the background of charming architecture.
France was not a typical wanderlust trip for me. I spent more time eating and drinking socially, connecting with my colleagues, and re discovering the importance of being present in the moment and putting my phone down. And in the nights that I spent alone in the cottage, I re discovered the art of solitude. I discovered that I am a force to be reckoned with. That I can stand powerfully in my truth and connect with others through shared pains. I learned that I have a voice. I learned that I never have to doubt myself again. This trip was for the soul. I opened up in ways that I have never allowed myself to before, especially when it comes to coworkers. I always felt I had to keep a certain level of professionalism. To prove that I am competent enough as a minority woman in what tends to be a white privileged corporate America. But the moment I displayed that authenticity, I was applauded. And I will forever carry that beautiful feeling in my heart. You see, often we think the action of traveling is meant to learn about the places we see and yes, to a certain extent that is true. But what about the things you learn about yourself being placed in an unfamiliar environment? I think this realization was my favorite part of this trip, after all ❤
Hawaii is not a state of mind, but a state of grace. -Paul Theroux
Constant sunshine. Breezy summers. Low humidity. Green, lush plants that surround all around you. Stretches of honey sand with crystal, clear turquoise waters. You step off the plane and are immediately greeted by mountains. It was the first time my fiance and I have ever seen mountains in person. Of course, we took a few minutes to document it like the millennials we are. But in that initial moment, we were filled with excitement. After a layover in Houston and 7 hours on a plane, we were ready to explore the beautiful island of Oahu…
Or were we?? lol I have to admit, with the time change and by the time we checked into our room, we were both exhausted. That first evening, we decided to stay low-key and hang around the hotel area. We stayed at the Hilton Waikiki Beach and the area is busy and filled with tourists. Upon our arrival, they were shooting a TV show (I’m not sure which one) and the hotel was crawling with extras. We made it to our room and was pleasantly surprised with the views. High in the skies, our room overlooked the city with a backdrop of mountains.
I quickly changed my clothes and anticipated a quick bite we could grab around the hotel. We opted for a poke bowl. I know, we’re in Hawaii and you expect a food item that is more exotic? Well, sushi and poke bowls are widely eaten in Hawaii. It was quick and good, and mine had fresh ahi tuna which is local to the island. After grabbing food, we walked around and explored Waikiki Beach. I have to admit, the beach is beautiful but way too overcrowded.
After taking a walk along the beach, I decided I wanted to grab a Dole Whip and it was amazing! Trust me, pineapples hit different in Hawaii. After doing some more sightseeing, we decided to head back to the hotel and rest. We were asleep by like 8 PM. Pretty uneventful first night lol but traveling can take a toll, especially international ones. And the jet lag is insane! I was up at 3 AM ready to start my day, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Luckily, I was able to fall back asleep and wake up at 7 AM.
Our first full day in Hawaii had a whole itinerary. First we would eat breakfast at a local restaurant call Shorefyre. It’s a short walk from the beach and my fiance and I witnessed many of the locals coming straight from the beach to go there, barefoot and surfboards attached to their hips. We figured if locals trusted the place, it must be good. And we were right! The breakfast was beyond satisfying and delicious. Definitely large portions as well. I ordered upside pineapple pancakes. They were made with locally grown pineapples and were as large as my plate. Price wise, it wasn’t too bad. Prices ranged from $15 to $20. A little tip- food in Hawaii can get very costly, especially in a tourist area. Just be mindful of that if you ever visit.
After breakfast, we headed to the Royal Hawaiian Center, an outside mall filled with high fashion stores. A fun fact about the tourist area in Hawaii: The Japanese has heavily invested into the area and placed attractions that would generate revenue and/or fulfill their shopping wants and needs. A lot of high end brand labels are extremely expensive in Japan, but in Hawaii, it is a lot more affordable than what they are accustomed to paying. We didn’t come to the Royal Hawaiian Center to shop though- they offer many complimentary classes focused on Hawaiian traditions such as lei making, hula dance lessons, and ukulele. When researching things to do in Hawaii, this was at top of the list. Traveling and staying in Hawaii can get expensive, so I was very adamant about find free or affordable activities to pass the time. We opted for ukulele lessons that was taught by a Hawaiian native born and raised in the island. I point out that she is a Hawaiian native because believe it or not, there’s not many left on the island. The majority of Hawaii’s population is Asian and White. Only about 11% of the population is Hawaiian native. The instructor has been working with the center since 1994 and was filled with knowledge about the island and great energy. Ukulele was a lot harder to learn than expected! We even had to sing the song in Hawaiian! We learned that Kaimana Hila means Diamond Head which is the mountain trail we climbed during the vacation. The reason this mountain is called Diamond Head is because during the 19th century, it was believed by British settlers that they have discovered diamonds within the land. However, it was not diamonds. They were actually calcite crystals that resemble diamonds but instead are a semi precious stone.
After the ukulele lessons, we had a long conversation with the instructor. We noticed how commercialized the tourist area was and wanted to get to know about the real Hawaii. The instructor was more than willing to offer some knowledge. Although Hawaii is considered one of the 50 states, Hawaiians rather not be associated as such. Queen Liliuokalani, the first and only reigning Hawaiian queen, was overthrown by the United States. Locals refer to us as the mainland but they rather keep the island separate in association. The instructor also informed us that many locals prefer to stay away from the Waikiki Beach area. As expected, this area is not the real Hawaii. But what I didn’t know is that many of the locals cannot even stay in the hotels in the area. Overall, they feel invaded and unwelcome.
The instructor also gave us some pointers on where we can find inexpensive food that locals enjoy. The popular spot mentioned was Rainbow Inn, a fast food restaurant that serves big portions for under 8 dollars. About a 20 min walk from our hotel, we decided to foot it and see what the hype was all about. It was definitely busy within multiple lines curling around the corners of the pole outside. I didn’t take a picture of this meal because honestly it didn’t look visually appealing lol but it was tasty. I opted for the mixed plate which served fried battered ahi tuna, chicken, and steak, with white rice and macaroni salad as sides. Another local menu favorite is the Loco Moco, which is two beef patties that sit on top of a bed of fried rice, topped with a fried egg. The Hawaiians eat A LOT of rice, beef, and pork for any meal of the day.
Later that evening, we went to a hula show at the Kuhio Beach Mound. This is a free event that takes place at 6:30 PM, right before the sunset. It does get packed quickly and seating is first come, first serve. Because of this we were at the location by 5:45 PM to grab a front row seat. It was enjoyable and the scenery was beautiful on the beach as the sun began to set. They opened the show with conch blowing followed by singing and playing instruments, along with displaying several different styles of hula dancing.
Because we were being extremely budget friendly, especially with the circumstances of myself being unemployed during this trip, we opted to buy a bottle and enjoy drinks outside of the typical bars and lounges. So long story short, it was a wrap for nightlife… you know I like to keep it honest! Plus we had an early morning and long day ahead of us. We would start our next day by hiking Diamond Head 🙂
Our morning started at 7 AM. We completely skipped breakfast, although I opted for a coffee and a banana at least for energy. We checked out the bus routes and decided to get an all day pass. The buses in Hawaii are very easy to maneuver and the drivers are friendly and helpful. Diamond Head was about a 15 min ride from our hotel. It was a hot, summer day… cliche. We started our journey up the entrance of the trail, which is a hike within itself! Once you get to the entrance, they only charge $1 per pedestrian, so very affordable. The time it takes to go up the mountain varies on your physical endurance and depends on how many breaks you take. I’m not the most active so I did take a few breaks when I felt like my lungs were going to collapse. The trail is very steep and there are many, many stairs. Also, there is a lot of steep pathways with uneven ground so it’s very easy to trip if you’re not careful. I definitely reevaluated my life throughout the whole way up 😀 and oddly enough, I figured out very quickly how claustrophobic I am when we went into the narrow cave. I have never sweated so much in my life! And by the end of the trail, when we made it to the top, I legitimately wanted to cry tears of joy. But when I tell you, the views were SO worth it. It’s like believing in magic for the very first time. You get so wrapped up in the technological advances we have in our world, that you forget such beauty exists in nature.
After the trail, we headed back to the hotel to get cleaned up. We wanted to check out Downtown Honolulu. First stop was the Iolani Palace, which was the royal residence of the queen. They offer self guided audio tours for just $25. Also, very close in the area, is the Honolulu Museum of Art. Tickets range around the same price as the palace.
Next stop was the Aloha Tower. Originally a lighthouse, the Aloha Tower is one of the most recognized landmarks of Hawaii, second to Diamond Head. It was built in 1926 standing as the tallest building in the islands for nearly four decades! It also served as a welcoming beacon to the island for sea travelers. Present day, the Aloha Tower is now part of a marketplace and the Hawaiian Pacific University. On the 10th floor of the tower is an observatory that offers city views overlooking the harbor.
After visiting the Aloha Tower, we decided to grab lunch (finally!). Chinatown is about a 10 minute walk from the tower. We spoke to a local bartender when we first landed and her top suggestion for food in Chinatown was The Pig and the Lady, a Vietnamese fusion restaurant. It’s a pretty casual place with cool accents within the restaurant.
The food was delicious, of course, and fairly priced…
Chinatown isn’t much of a scene during the week/day. I heard it gets very lively at night on the weekends but unfortunately, it was Wednesday and our last full day in Hawaii we had left to explore. We kept it moving.
After lunch, I had a sweet tooth and I knew just the place to go for it. When researching about Hawaii, I came across several websites that listed must try foods in Hawaii. I saw Leonard’s Bakery pop up 5 times, so you know I had to try. They are famous for their malasadas, Portuguese donuts that are fried and filled with custard or chocolate. We hopped on the bus for a 45 minute ride towards to reach our destination. After all, I was on a mission and oh so determined. As we approached the bakery, we realized very quickly that it was definitely a popular destination. The line extended all the way outside (very good sign 🙂 ).
…they didn’t disappoint. AT ALL!
After enjoying the malasadas, we went back to the hotel to rest a bit before getting ready again to head out at night. We decided to check out Wang Chung’s Karaoke Bar, another local suggestion and not too far from our hotel. It was a cool vibe with dope lighting. Lots of drunk people singing for your entertainment 😀
After having a couple of drinks, we decided to call it a night. Spending the majority of the day outside, in the heat, exploring from 8 AM to midnight, we were barely hanging on. I don’t think I’ve ever slept so hard than I did that night.
On our last day, I woke up at 6:30 AM and decided to watch the sunrise on the balcony of our room. I wanted to soak up as much of this place as I could before we left. Honestly, I didn’t want to go back to reality. The harsh realization always hits the hardest on the day you depart. And our trip felt incredibly quick! Back to responsibilities…ew. My fiance and I took one last walk to the beach. Our flight didn’t depart until 1 PM, so time was of the essence. We sat on the beach. People watched. Admired the slow pace of everyone as they lounged around enjoying their surroundings. Jumping off the high ledges and splashing into the ocean. It’s moments like that when you realize this is what life should really be about. The slow moments that allow you to fully express gratitude. To absorb it all. We often take nature’s beauty for granted. So preoccupied with the busyness in our lives to appreciate our surroundings. Besides the beautiful beaches, Hawaii has some of the most beautiful flowers and trees. I wanted to spend some intentional time appreciating it all.
My final consensus of Hawaii? It’s beautiful. But I do think it receives A LOT of hype. It is very expensive to have an ‘amazing’ time there. If you ever plan to take a trip out there, my suggestion would be to get a car and get out of the tourist area. Anticipate on having at least 500 dollars for just spending money…and this does not include flight and hotel. I would love to come back and check out Northshore, which was about 45 minutes away from where we were staying, driving time. I would also love to check out the Dole Plantation. I think I would visit another island besides Oahu, as well. I hear Maui is breathtaking. We made the best out of our trip considering we had limited time and funds. I have some must do things in mind for the next time we visit. But I definitely cherished every moment of this trip. Anytime I am able to get on a plane and just go somewhere, I am grateful. So until next time Hawaii, Mahaulo! Thank you for sharing your beauty ❤
“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” -Agustine of Hippo
A part of me did not want to cover this destination on my travel series…not because I did not enjoy it- this trip was nothing but life changing. It was my first trip I ever needed a passport for. I remember the excitement when I received it in the mail. It was a college graduation gift to myself. It was the trip that started my wanderlust desires. The first longest flight I have EVER taken- about 7 hours, but considering the time difference, the jet lag was REAL. I spent 13 days in unknown lands, and I am eternally grateful for this experience. However, this trip took place 4 years ago and I am afraid my memory won’t do it justice! I visited so many cities in Spain! I saw, I conquered, even got a tattoo! And I also had the opportunity to meet extraordinary people who shared the same passion for travel. I will do my best to paint the beautiful picture Spain truly deserves, a trip I wish I could re live and re do over and over and over again.
I’m sure you guys know the drill by now 😀 here’s a few fun facts about España:
The currency used in Spain is the Euro. This was fun trying to figure out while I was there. You can convert your money at the airport into Euros. The US dollar is actually worth less than Euros. $1.00 equals to 0.89 Euros, so make sure you spend wisely!
The largest city and capital of Spain is Madrid. Madrid was one of the cities I visited during my time at Spain. Definitely has all of the big city vibes!
Spain has a variety of foods and unique dishes such as paella (a type of rice dish) and tapas (a range of small snacks or appetizers). First of all, the paella was delicious! Don’t even bother ordering this dish in the states, because I promise it won’t taste nearly as good as the authentic paella in Spain. Second, I lived off of tapas! You can literally get any full size entree as a tapa upon request, and they are super affordable. One of my favorite tapas was papas bravas, a potato dish fried in oil and topped with spicy tomato sauce.
The second largest city is Barcelona. Another city I visited- although it is considered the second largest city in Spain, I feel like you can’t ever get lost. It’s literally a big circle; you’ll eventually end up where you started.
Flamenco is not actually a dance; it’s a musical style which can involve dancing. I saw a flamenco show in Barcelona, and fell in love ever since.
In Barcelona, waiting for the flamenco show to begin.
One of the first cities I visited while in Spain was Barcelona. It is a very elegant city, rich in art and history. The day we landed, we literally hopped off the plane, dropped our luggage off, and was out to explore! My Spain trip was booked through a college tour, and they had a full day planned for us. We headed to the city square and immediately dived into the culture.
We visited Park Güell, a public park composed of gardens and breathtaking architecture with amazing views overlooking the city. The park’s design was inspired by nature and the artist, Antoni Gaudí, was very adamant about the architecture containing no straight lines. He committed to this theory because in nature, he stated, “there are none.” Being one of the popular tourist attractions in Barcelona, the park was incredibly crowded. Many of the pictures I did have are floating around in Google Drive space, but I was able to recover these!
Another amazing tourist attraction I was able to check out was La Sagrada Familia, a large unfinished Roman Catholic church in Barcelona. It is a church that has been under construction for over a century! And no, it is still not finished. Designed by the same architect mentioned earlier, Antoni Gaudí, he knew this church would not be completed in his lifetime. Talk about the detail involved in his vision! And when I say detail, I mean it- The story of the Holy Trinity can be found in the sculptures in the altars, and the builders of this majestic building are immortalized in stone. That doesn’t even cover half of the building; stories of Christ are narrated in the sculptures throughout. It is the tallest religious building in Europe and is said to go through its final construction stage in the year 2026.
While in Barcelona, there was also a bike tour that took place…except I didn’t join…because I don’t know how to ride a bike and I definitely missed out! Don’t get me wrong, I definitely attempted. But after a few failed attempts, the tour leaders decided it wasn’t the best idea for me to go on the tour, for safety reasons. *insert sad face* Barcelona is considered a very bike friendly city. Many locals choose biking as their main source of transportation. However, this can leave beginners like me unsafe because they ride at FULL velocity. I’m accident prone as it is. So instead, I roamed the city alone and blended in with the locals.
I watched people get attacked by pigeons in the city square lmao
After Barcelona, we continued on our journey. We traveled to Figueres, the birthplace of artist Salvador Dalí. Yep, that’s right- I’ve had the pleasure of visiting the original Dalí museum in Spain; although the one in St. Petersburg, FL is amazing, the one in Spain is permanently engraved in my brain! So different and creative.
From Figueres, we spent overnight on a train to Granada. That was an experience! The funnest, most uncomfortable night of my life, SERIOUSLY. We had 4 girls to a cabin and all had bunk beds. Also, there were no showers. Only a sink in the cabin and a bathroom stall.
I sipped on coffee while enjoying morning views on the way to Granada.
Sleep deprived and anxious, we arrived to the beautiful city of Granada. By far, one of my favorite cities! It was magical with secret gardens, cute fountains, and mini boutiques throughout the city. With its medieval architecture dating back to 711, it was exactly what I envisioned for a city in Europe.
Granada also blessed me with the experience of La Alhambra, a hilltop palace surrounded by beautiful gardens and mind blowing views. Go on, take a peak below ❤
I also discovered that there is no such thing as Dunkin Donuts, but there is Dunkin Coffee. Mind. Blown.
Our days in Granada ended and we headed to Seville, a city known for its flamenco, Moorish architecture, and cathedrals. This city was another favorite of mine. While there, we visited the Royal Alcázar of Seville, a royal palace built for the Christian king Peter of Castile. This castle was surrounded by stunning gardens filled with the most vibrant colored flowers I’ve ever seen. I may be biased because of my love of purple, but you can decide for yourself.
Other cities we traveled to were Cordoba, Marbella, Toledo, and Madrid. I wouldn’t be surprised if I am missing any cities. We traveled around Spain so much! Cordoba reminded me of Roman cities we read about in history class filled with cathedrals. Marbella is gorgeous, a luxury city filled with Mediterranean beaches, villas, and night lounges. We only spent a night there but I took full advantage and hung out at Wallace Marbella, which was walking distance from our hotel. Toledo is an ancient city known for its medieval Arab, Jewish, and Christian monuments. I appreciated how quiet and traditional it was. A city that sits on hills high above the ground, it offered unforgettable views.
One of the last cities we visited was Madrid. Being the capital and the largest city in Spain, I was not surprised to encounter a busy lifestyle where the streets buzzed with energy all day and night. It kind of reminded me of New York City and immediately made me homesick.
By the way, it was 9:00 PM and the sun was just setting!
At this point, I was so accustomed to lack of sleep and being on my feet all day exploring. To think that it was coming to an end, stung a bit. It was a harsh realization that I would be returning back to reality. But I also have to admit, I missed my then boyfriend (now fiance) terribly. I wish I could have shared this experience with him. The experiences I made here were priceless. Spain taught me that it was okay to slow down and be present in the moment. It taught me that it is acceptable to drink wine at any time of the day. And that most times, dinner will be served at 10 PM. It taught me that bread served before your meal will cost you extra money lol. It taught me to be open to a different culture and way of life. There is so much more out there folks, trust me. Much more than we can ever imagine. I can’t express how grateful I am to have made the decision to go, despite my dad lecturing me of ALL the horrible things taking place outside of the U.S. I wish I could have went into greater detail with all of the cities in Spain, but then you would probably be reading for hours. Spain-you hold a special place in my heart. Thank you for all of the lessons and experiences with open arms. I hope we have an opportunity to meet again!
“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” -Martin Buber
I have to admit…Puerto Rico was never considered as one of my top destinations. Might I dare say, I even labeled the island as ‘basic.’ Shame on me! Puerto Rico was a last minute birthday gift I decided to treat my fiance to because it didn’t require a passport (he seriously needs to work on changing this), it was fairly affordable, and it did not require to take many days off from work. I chose the city of Old San Juan. My fiance doesn’t care for the beach; he’s more of an artsy kind of guy. I knew he would appreciate the beautiful architecture and art of the oldest city in the U.S and territories. We left for a long weekend to enjoy the birthday festivities. Being of Puerto Rican descent, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to get in touch with my roots. I am terribly Americanized and I get shamed for it ALL THE TIME. I don’t think I can ever put into words the incredible energy this beautiful island has. You feel it the moment you step off the plane. It was more than just a weekend trip, it was truly an experience, and I left feeling proud and connected to the island. Alright, enough with the spiritual awakenings lol let’s get into the details!
A few fun facts about Puerto Rico:
Puerto Rico is not a country or a U.S state. Due to the U.S governance, it is part of the Commonwealth and considered a U.S territory. However, people on the island are not allowed to vote in U.S presidential elections.
Cock fighting is a popular blood sport in Puerto Rico, where two chickens get placed in a ring called the ‘cockpit’ and fight to the death…literally. However, this will cease due to Congress voting in favor of banning the sport in 2018.
El Yunque is the only tropical rainforest in the U.S. With 28,000 acres of lush tropical palms, it is definitely a sought after destination. We did not get to explore this beautiful rainforest due to the destruction caused by Hurricane Maria. Last I’ve heard, it is up and running, so I definitely plan to go back!
Puerto Rico coffee is AMAZING. Honestly! The conditions on the main island are excellent for growing quality coffee . I lived off cafe con leche while I was there.
The Coqui frog is the official mascot of Puerto Rico. Endemic to the island, the frog is known for its timid ‘ko-kee’ evening sounds. Another fun fact, apparently the Coqui frog also lives in Hawaii! It is reported that the frogs were accidentally transported in a shipment of plants.
Puerto Rico has some of the liveliest and friendliest people I have ever encountered. Immediately stepping off of the plane, we were greeted with warm hospitality. Using excessive hand and facial gestures, they are expressive and their energy is infectious. The first night we landed there, we took an uber to our air bnb. Our driver was friendly, humorous, and conversational as she gave us suggestions of attractions to see around the city of Old San Juan. We reached our location around 4 am. We walked up to our home for the next few days, go to input the security code…and nothing. We couldn’t get in! Located on San Sebastián , a very popular tourist area and near all of the nightlife, a local bar owner saw we were having trouble and insisted on helping. Apparently, the building was correct but our security code was wrong. As we waited for a response from the air bnb owner, the bar owner insisted on us coming over for a few drinks. We dived into deep conversation over discounted drinks, and you would swear we were life-long friends. Encounters like this mean the world to me. In the U.S, we get so caught up with how busy our lives are, how stressful life can be, our everyday obstacles, that we forget easy going nature such as this exists! Around 5 am, we were able to get in contact with the air bnb owner, just in time before the bar closed for the night.
Only being on the island for three days, we took full advantage of the attractions closest to us. We spent our days walking and exploring the city, enchanted by splashes of colors throughout the buildings, blue cobblestones that paved the streets, and 500 years of history. Some of the most well known attractions we visited were El Morro and Castillo de San Cristobal, massive fortresses used as defenses against Spanish conquistadors nearly 500 years ago. By day, we visited numerous local art galleries and museums. We even visited the historical shanty town, La Perla, which we were advised by locals to never go to at night. I believe one of the locals exact words were, “Not even the police go there at night.” Yeah…say no more. One honorable mention is the Santa Maria Magdalena de Pazzis Cemetery, a colonial era cemetery with construction dating back to 1863. Okay, so I know what are thinking. Why would anyone want to visit a cemetery? Honestly, we were just passing on the way to La Perla. After doing further research, it is reported to be one of the most beautiful cemeteries in the world, so why not? While at the cemetery, we were admiring the style of the tombstones. Elegant and marble life-like sculptures, these burial sites are truly a sight to see. The cemetery overlooks the ocean, which is believed to be symbolic of the journey over to the afterlife and originates from Spanish superstition and fear of death. First, I will say that I am a believer in the paranormal and after life. I’m not sure if my fiance previously was, but after our encounter with this cemetery, I am sure his beliefs were seriously altered. As we passed through the cemetery, we noticed a burial site that looked like a mini mosque. It was massive, dome shaped, with stairs leading to doors on all sides. One of the entrances leading indoors looked like it had been ripped open, I’m assuming from Hurricane Maria. My fiance was fascinated with the site and its architecture, so much that he insisted that I take a photo of him sitting on the stairs. After I took the photo, I noticed he proceeded to walk up the stairs to take a peak inside. I warned him that it was probably not the best idea, that it can come off as disrespectful to the spirits resting there. Initially shrugging me off, I urged him to follow my advice. He agreed and we continued exploring around the cemetery. This is when things got a bit spooky. I did not see what he saw, I can only relay the information. According to him, he saw a dark figure hiding behind a burial site with a black cloak floating off the ground. He was SHOOKETH. I’ve never seen him so scared before. He insisted that we leave the cemetery immediately. While on our way out, the wind seem to pick up and dozens of crows were flying over us. Although I didn’t see what he saw, I believed him. It was a feeling, you know. And plus, I warned him *Kanye shrug.* You can see the picture of the site in the slideshow below along with other locations we explored.
In the community of La Perla, this is the famous building that the music video, ‘Despacito’ was filmed at.
The majority of the architecture in Old San Juan is over 450 years old!
Splashed with bright colors and of Spanish style architecture, buildings were reminiscent of New Orleans.
The Puerto Rico flag was painted black as a political statement of mourning and resistance. This represents the state of mourning that the island has been experiencing since the US government imposed a federal control board with power over the commonwealth’s jurisdiction.
I promise you this cat isn’t dead lol I checked. During the summer, the humidity in Puerto Rico is borderline unbearable. This picture is purely for aesthetics only.
Royal purple bougainvillea flowers were in bloom all over San Juan.
One of the most influential singers in the history of salsa music is Puerto Rican native, Hector Lavoe.
The infamous burial site that made my fiance reevaluate his WHOLE life!
At the Museo de las Americas
Castillo de San Cristobal and El Morro provide amazing oceanfront views.
Just admiring my handsome man 🙂 grabbing breakfast in the city.
Our exploring didn’t stop during the day. By night, we were checking out all of the local restaurants, bars, and lounges. Nightlife is CRAZY in Puerto Rico! The streets are ridiculously busy up until the wee hours in the morning. Also, the legal drinking age in Puerto Rico is 18. With that being said, us ‘old folks’ were outnumbered. The night spots that stuck out the most to me was La Factoría and Douglas. La Factoría is a bar that gives you a speak easy vibe with its hidden passages and entry ways, which creates a really cool atmosphere. There are multiple rooms inside with different genres of music. Douglas is a corner pub with friendly staff and the most amazing Coconut Mojitos I have ever tasted in my life! And trust me, they sneak up on you. Both places are highly recommended.
Douglas has amazing Coconut Mojitos for half the price!
You can’t talk about Puerto Rico without mentioning the food. Honestly, I gained like 5 pounds just over a course of a weekend, but I loved every single minute of it. Some popular mentions are Arroz con Gandules, Tostones, Alcapurrias, Mofongo, and Empanadillas. I indulged in it ALL. These foods are not unfamiliar to me because they were part of my childhood growing up in NYC, which is where the majority of Puerto Ricans migrated to during the political immigration dated back to the 1800s. So basically, I was in heaven and was excited for my fiance to try these foods as well. I also can’t forget to mention the desserts I indulged in, Piragua, Tembleque,and Flan…ugh, take me back! Now! My fiance also tried his first mango EVER in Puerto Rico. We were seated at a restaurant, and the servers started passing out free mangoes pulled from the tree in the back. I don’t think mangoes in the U.S will ever measure up for him.
I will always cherish the memories spent in Puerto Rico. I never expected to have such an amazing time. My fiance loved it so much that I’m convinced he is tempted to move there. The culture and people were magical. I always felt ashamed for not truly embracing my roots, not necessarily by choice, but because of my American upbringing. My parents did not even raise me on the Spanish language, although both are fluent. I can’t tell you how many glares I get from other Hispanics with my broken Spanish. But on that island, I felt accepted. It’s the weirdest and most loving feeling to meet someone in a place you’ve never been before, and just by looking at you, they know you are part of the culture. A local bartender at Douglas was conversing with us as she made our mojitos, and she looks at me and says, “You’re Puerto Rican, right?” I asked her, “How did you know?” She told me that my physical features, my spirit, and even the way I spoke, gave it away. Laughing, I told her that I don’t speak Spanish very well and it was my first time to the island. Without a glance of judgment, she says, “Welcome home. It was only a matter of time.” And in that moment, I realized she was right. I may not speak the language, but I cannot deny the feeling inside when I hear salsa music. Or the fact that I can’t keep myself from dancing when I hear salsa music. Or how anxious I get, scrambling to get Coquito and Pasteles during the holidays. I cannot deny that my roots are mixed with Taino, African, and Spaniard blood. The traditions I grew up with are deeply rooted. The island, at least to me, represents pride and acceptance. I had come home for the first time.
“Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” – Ibn Battuta
Traveling holds a special place in my heart. When people ask when I am at my absolute happiest, the answer is always the same- TRAVELING. Doesn’t matter where it is, can even be a local trip! There is something incredibly beautiful about traveling to a new place, without having a clue of what to expect, and learning the culture of that place. Morocco was one of those destinations that surprised me in many ways. I will admit, I was definitely culture shocked. Morocco has very different social norms than Western countries, especially for woman. I only spent a day there, but the experience taught me so much about this country’s rich culture. I left that day feeling overwhelmingly grateful for the experience.
So a few fun facts about Morocco:
Morocco is located in Northern Africa, bordering the North Atlantic Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea. I was able to visit for a day due to his close proximity to Spain. Took a ferry to Tangier and then a bus to Marrakech.
Visitors from the U.S. among a few other countries, are allowed to stay in Morocco for up to three months without a visa. Extended visit anyone?
Tea is the national drink of Morocco. By the way, their mint tea is TO DIE FOR!
Morocco is one of the oldest recognized countries in Africa, declaration dating back to the year 788.
BONUS: I’m sure this is not only for Morocco, but relevant. There are two types of camels- dromedary camels, which have one hump, and Bactrian camels, which have two humps. I rode a dromedary camel in Morocco. I was sitting SO HIGH; the view was breathtaking.
As you can see in my pictures, I was dressed modestly. Being on a college tour, we were warned beforehand to make sure that we were not showing a lot of skin while exploring. Gender roles are much more defined in Morocco, and women need to take extra precautions when on the streets of Morocco. Showing excessive skin, drinking and smoking in public, and public affection are considered extremely disrespectful. We were warned to not even make eye contact with men! The best tip I can give you, especially when traveling to another country, is to research social norms first. Granted, as a visitor they do not expect you to follow protocol strictly, but it’s a huge sign of respect for their culture.
The streets of Marrakech are extremely busy! If I could compare it to a visual, I would say it very much reminds me of ‘Aladdin.’ Outside markets lined with so many products and goods, it will make your head spin. Locals hustling and bustling in the streets, looking for their next consumer. Some goods worth mentioning include rugs, lamps, spices, olives, leathers, and clothing. Their clothing is absolutely gorgeous, especially their wedding attire! Rich colors and fabrics, with intricate stitching. Honestly, they put our clothes to shame. I definitely took advantage and bought various spices and homemade skin products. I was super tempted to buy a hookah as well, but the sensible part of me thought about trying to get through customs with that, and I let go of that dream very quickly lol. It’s also good to note that it is extremely easy to get lost, or wander into the parts not suitable for tourists. With that being said, please do not explore these streets alone; it’s best to go with a group of people you can trust. Petty crimes are high in Morocco, especially among tourists. However, it is considerably safe, just stay cautious.
While in Morocco, we had the opportunity to eat. The main meal is usually around mid-day and the course usually commences with tea. Eating with your hands is considered a time honored tradition, meaning it is a method that has been practiced for many years in the culture. It is important to be mindful of which hand you are eating with. Eating with your right hand is considered acceptable, as your left hand is considered impure and to be saved for bathroom duties and cleaning chores. We were served Harira, an authentic Moroccan soup made of lentils, chickpeas, tomatoes, and meat. Honestly, it was not my preferred dish. Nonetheless, I ate it as a sign of respect. We were also served couscous, a staple dish of North Africa made of grains and topped with meat and vegetables. Very comparable to what we know as rice. I definitely enjoyed the couscous. It didn’t even occur to me to take pics…sorry folks!
Overall, my trip was a once in a lifetime experience! The people we interacted with were very friendly and helpful. I learned a different way of life and got to experience it firsthand. I was in awe of the locals’ hard work and craftsmanship. Every textile good seemed to tell a story with their unique embroidery. The culture was eye opening and continues to put much perspective in mind, even to this day. I am more than mindful when interacting with people from other countries. What seems normal for us, does not necessarily mean it is something they are accustomed to. I believe everyone needs an experience like this. Immense yourself in the culture. Be present in the moment. Cherish it. Most importantly, LEARN. Step out of your comfort zone and tiny box of normalcy with an open mind. I would love to go back and stay for a longer time. There is so much to see and honestly, a day was not enough.
