Fourteen Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

self love, , , , 55 Comments

We do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience.

-John Dewey

Imagine you had a time machine, and you could use this time machine to visit your younger self. If you had the opportunity to, would you take it? And if you did, what would you do differently? Would you try to change events that have already occurred? Would you right any wrongs? Change the trajectory and tamper with the very existence you know as life?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have many regrets. Every event that has taken place in my life has led me to this very point. I wouldn’t intentionally try to change my life. But if I had the opportunity to visit my past self, I would take it.

You see, young Ang experienced a lot of traumas in her life, and this often left her feeling depleted, distrustful, and disappointed. And because of the traumas she experienced, she battled with anxiety and depression at the young age of 11. Young Ang needed a lot of healing and at 32 years old, I am still attempting to heal that inner child. If I had the opportunity to speak love and light to my younger self, I would 100% jump at that chance. Curious as to what I would say to her? Here are fourteen things I would tell my younger self and why:

Not everyone will abandon you.

A lot of people have walked out of my life, family included. This created a personal narrative of “they will eventually leave.”

You are worthy and more than enough.

Because I felt abandoned throughout my life, I often wondered what was so wrong with me that made people find the closest exit out.

It’s okay to feel fear. Do it anyways.

I’ve passed up on so many opportunities because of fear. Fear of failure. I always thought failure was a bad thing when failure is a necessary step for success.

Your opinion matters.

This is due to my low self-confidence and lack of trust in myself. Thanks to bullying and emotional trauma, I am gifted with the opportunity to build my confidence from the ground up.

Forgiveness is for you, not them.

This is something I have learned recently. I hold onto grudges like a person riding the subway for the first time. Seriously! You wrong me and I won’t let it go. But with that, builds resentment. So, who is really losing here with my lack of forgiveness?

You are not fat!

Three words: Growing up Hispanic.

The pain is temporary. Wait on the blessing.

When you are in the thick of it, it feels never-ending. But when I look back, each heartache was balanced with joy following after it.  

Say no to anything that is not aligned with your happiness.

I often feel guilty saying no and I think this has to do with my abandonment issues. Sometimes saying yes is my way of gaining their love, respect, and loyalty. But what good is any of that if I’m unhappy?

You do not need to overexplain yourself.

Again, abandonment issues.

Stop over apologizing.

Low self-confidence. See the trend here? Cause and effect, my friends. Cause and effect.

You are not alone.

I’m still sorting some emotional baggage with this one. But I am slowly learning that I tend to isolate myself, especially when I’m going through it. I’m working on speaking up more and reaching out to a loved one when I need to.

Your hard work does pay off.

Once upon a time, I was taking public transportation to my full-time job, then taking it to my full-time college schedule, while trying to figure out how I can make $16 worth of food stamps stretch for groceries on 5 hours of sleep daily. Young Ang would be proud.

You do not have control over certain situations. Let go and let God.

A lot of unnecessary anxiety and stress trying to control a situation. It’s not worth it, let go.

You are loved. I love you.

Abandonment leads to feelings of rejection, which leads to a lack of worth, which creates the perception that you are impossible to love. So, you never learn to love yourself. I can think of a few past life experiences where I truly needed to look in the mirror and proclaim my self-love.

Well, I just peeled back several layers of my skin and exposed myself. Some of that was heavy… My heart aches for my inner child from time to time. I wish I could hold her and let her know that everything will work out the way it should. I have experienced a lot of pain in my life. But as I have said earlier, no regrets. There is always a lesson before a blessing and I have had a ton of them, so I am equally blessed! Cheers to resilience.

Out of curiosity…if you had the opportunity to speak to your younger self, what you would say? If you feel comfortable sharing this, please let me know in the comments. Would love to hear from you all ❤

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55 thoughts on “Fourteen Things I Would Tell My Younger Self”

  2. The only thing I’d go back and tell myself if I could time travel and that’s to stop being so reckless, it’ll ruin your life. You can still have fun, but dial it back and use moderation. You’ll thank for me it if you do

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    1. Ooh, this is a good one. When we are younger, we typically do not think of the consequences of our actions. But on a positive note, I’m sure you learned valuable lessons from it which contributes to your wisdom. Thank you for reading and commenting!

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  3. Wow! What a magnificent reading! That’s the way to boost ourselves! 🫂 I always remind to be kind with myself! No matter what.
    Btw I love the aesthetic in your post and blog! Amazing job!!

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. Beautifully written. A great read which provides hope and promise. And today we are still younger than tomorrow so sound advice to live by today also.

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  6. Don’t date the bad boys…go for the quiet guy reading in the corner, the guy playing guitar in the park. You’ll be much happier in the long run.

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  8. Slightly teary eyed reading this beautifully written post.

    I would tell myself to not overthink everything. I still do it but at least now i’m aware of it. I’d also tell myself to loosen up, be more open minded and to stop trying to protect everyone. I know now it wasn’t my job to and just made me an angry kid.

    Thanks for sharing, it’s not always easy to do so.

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    1. And I teared up writing it. Definitely not easy to be this vulnerable but it always feels therapeutic. Overthinking has been a huge issue in my life too. I still have to talk myself off the ledge from time to time. Thank you so much for sharing that. And thank you for reading and commenting!

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  10. Love this post! I believe I am the sum of my life experiences. I wouldn’t change where I am right now and what I am doing, well okay, except maybe illness-wise, but nothing I could have done in the past would change that as it happens. I wish someone had given me your words of wisdom when I was younger. I found out the hard way about so many of these things.

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    1. Couldn’t agree more! We are definitely the sum of our life experience and like you, I wish I had these words of wisdom when I was younger as well. Would have saved a lot of heartache and pain. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

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  12. This is such a beautiful sentiment Angie! I would tell myself not to get into debt as I spent so long paying it off. I laughed a little at the ‘you’re not fat one’. My friends and I were only talking about that recently. I guess it’s all about learning lessons. I don’t have many regrets either and I’m thankful for a lot of the lessons I’ve learned, but if I could go back I could definitely save myself some tears!

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    1. Oh yes, the debt! I am still paying off mine unfortunately. As for the one about not being fat, I laughed a little myself because I wish I could be that size again. But yes, every lesson serves as a stepping stone to success, so no regrets. But it would have been nice to spare myself the heartaches and tears. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

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  15. These are such important points. The lessons that we learn throughout our lives shape who we are today. I especially love “forgiveness is for you, not them.” Thank you for being so open. This post will definitely help so many, including myself!

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  16. This post is really touching, Angie. Hindsight is so clarifying, isn’t it. If only we could have the wisdom of now back when we really could have used it. I have so many things to be blessed about in my childhood, but looking back, I would tell my younger self that I am good enough. I can be who I am and not who people need me to be. It wasn’t until college that I realized how often I molded myself to be accepted by others. It was exhausting so I stopped. Like me or move on. I don’t have the time or interest in contorting myself to fit the narrative of others anymore. It’s great that you’ve come to a point where you can appreciate who you are. I grow more toward myself every day.

    ~Cassie

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    1. I can definitely relate. Throughout my life growing up, I was like a chameleon who changed according to the person I was around because I wanted to please them, all while displeasing myself because I was not being authentic. It’s refreshing to not care anymore and to trust that whoever is meant to remain in my life, will. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

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  17. This was beautifully written. I started to tear up reading this because it was so relatable. If I could tell my younger self something it would probably be “ You are enough. When people hurt you it’s not about you. It’s about their inner issues they’re dealing with. You are not unlovable “. Thank you for sharing.

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  18. I honestly couldn’t relate more to this post! I’d defiantly go back in time and tell my younger self this, I wish younger me could of read a post like this. Thank you so much for sharing lovely Xo

    Elle – ellegracedeveson.com

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  19. Love this post. I would tell myself similar things to your list. But I guess we can’t implement these things until we’ve learned the hard lessons in life. It’s a shame. I wasted years on the wrong people and worrying. But I take it as a lesson.

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    1. I completely understand! I feel like I wasted a lot of time on those things as well but like you said, it’s a lesson that contributes towards our growth and wisdom. Thank you for reading and commenting!

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  20. I really love this post – you’ve got some really great advice here. I wish I’d realised I should stop over apologising sooner, it’s something I’ve always struggled with and only recently managed to break. Thanks for sharing x

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  21. Relate to pretty much all of this. It’s so true what you say and it’s crazy how much we put ourselves down when we’re young with self esteem and confidence. Definitely a good pep talk read. Thanks for sharing x

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  23. Your opinion matters is one that I would definitely like to tell my younger self too. If I had the confidence back then that my thoughts and opinions mattered, I would probably have done a lot of things differently.

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  24. Oh man this is a good one! I would say what I would tell my younger self is save money, invest, don’t date this f boys and don’t let ppl walk over you. ❤

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  25. This was a great read. My favorite was not over explaining yourself. It’s too overwhelming to do that, might as well not do it. And yes i would take a time machine too. Xx
    Isa A. Blogger

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