“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.”Masaru Emoto
I cannot believe how much time has passed since my last post. A lot has happened, good and bad. You know when I come back from a hiatus, I have all the tea of what has been going on in my life. Clearly, I have been hiding under a rock for the past few months. Do you have time? Lol.
2020 was one hell of a year.
In all transparency, it was one of my toughest years. I refuse to lie and say otherwise or try to find some forced silver lining that preaches how 2020 was actually my best year. Was it necessary? ABSOLUTELY. Was it enjoyable? It was sprinkled with joy, but the foundation was a lot of pain and loss. Am I okay with this? Yes and no. I’m still grieving and processing the relationships I have lost this past year with people I would have never expected. I’m currently dealing with some deep-rooted abandonment issues because of this. I’m angry and confused on how certain things escalated and ended. I’m resentful that I lost so much all at once. I had to let go of people I love deeply for the sake of my own peace and boundaries. And that, can be heartbreaking, as I was forced to make that difficult choice. But I am at a stage in my life where I must truly honor and love myself. Where I only tolerate what I deserve and nothing less. I have to choose me. So out of all the pain and lessons, came a further understanding of self.
You know how they say, “Check on your strong friend.” Well, I am that strong friend. That person who puts aside their own feelings, issues, and fears to make compromises for the people they love. I show up, time and time again. But I started to feel like my energy was not matched with several people in my life. I began to feel used and unimportant. It began to feel like I was surrounded by energy vampires. I got tired of feeling overlooked, my issues and subtle cries for help ignored because of the assumption that I was okay. Because I always get through it.
Let me tell you, you do not know pain until you are uncontrollably sobbing and the only person there to comfort you in that moment is your own reflection.
However, I have been gifted with the superpower of putting broken pieces of myself back together as if I am brand new and shiny again. I pride myself on that kind of resilience. So here I am, not exactly doing bad, but struggling. And that’s okay. Just another level of healing in my life. If this year taught me anything, it has taught me to realize that lessons do not always come before blessings. Sometimes, the lesson IS the blessing.
I do not care to disclose the individuals I fell out with. I have no intention of bashing anyone or painting those individuals as bad people. This is my truth, and I am sharing it with you all, while protecting the identity of those individuals. At the end of the day, none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We all grow and evolve and sometimes, certain individuals can no longer be a part of our journey. Just another chapter ended in the story of your life. I am learning to accept this because it hurts, still.
These past few months have not been all bad. Even with the heartaches, I can wholeheartedly say that overall, 2020 was a prosperous year. So, let’s shift the perspective, shall we?
Here’s a recap ❤
2020 was a great year for Ang Meets Soul, even with the lack of consistency. I am so grateful for the support I continue to receive despite this and hope you all continue to support me as I learn and grow throughout this process! A few noteworthy accomplishments were:
- I completely revamped my site and created a logo to brand my blog.
- Learned a bit about Google Analytics.
- Found a way to monetize my blog through ads and have made my first dollar…baby steps lol.
- Created a Facebook page for my blog.
- Achieved my first 500 subscribers on my blog.
- Grew my following and engagement on Instagram and Twitter (shoutout to achieving my first 1k on IG).
- Participated in several podcast interviews with the opportunity to talk about my blog.
- Participated in my first collaboration post with a fellow blogger. One of my more popular posts found here.
- Participated in several brand ambassador programs. I have learned my lesson since lol.
- Launched my first giveaway! I’m still in shock over how successful it was- thank you guys so much!
It’s been such a crazy and amazing learning experience and I am so pumped to see how much further I can push the envelope on growing my brand.
2020 was such a great year for travel! I never had the opportunity to travel so much within one year before. Because of the pandemic, flights were very affordable, so I took full advantage. Plus, my job provides a generous vacation package and encourages us to take time off for a healthy work/life balance. But don’t worry, I traveled safely and within travel restrictions. In 2020, I was able to explore:
- Gatlinburg, TN
- Austin, TX
- Denver, CO
- New Orleans, LA
- Los Angeles, CA
- Miami, FL
- Charleston, SC
- Savannah, GA
Traveling truly makes my heart and soul so happy. I am looking forward to more wanderlusting in 2021.
Speaking of work, the levels unlocked in my position within one year was INSANE. I am blessed to have a supervisor who encourages me to have confidence within myself, who does not believe in micromanaging, and pushes me to step out of my comfort zone for personal growth. But this is not just my supervisor, all my colleagues are so encouraging and supportive. I’ve never worked for a company that saw so much potential in me before, and 2020 gifted me that. I even received a promotion with a generous raise only 8 months after starting with the company!
2020 taught me the importance of slowing down and listening to what my mind and body needed. I began cooking more. I started painting. I read more and journaled. I even developed the habit of yoga and meditation. I spent more time outside soaking up the sun and breathing in the fresh air. I grounded. I remained active.
However, I fell off my routine towards the last few months of 2020. Because of all the obstacles I was facing in my life, I took less and less off my plate. My only concern during this time was survival. But besides this, I was in the middle of planning a wedding during a pandemic. Very stressful! Which leads me to my biggest blessing in 2020…I AM OFFICIALLY A MARRIED WOMAN!
On December 19, 2020, I married my best friend; on the 6-year anniversary of our very first date. The wedding planning process was difficult for me, heartbreaking to say the least. It was not what I hoped for during a time that should have been the happiest time in my life. Even leading up to the days before the wedding, I was faced with obstacle after obstacle. But the moment I walked down that aisle and saw him waiting for me at the altar, none of this mattered. NONE OF IT. I’ve never felt so happy, terrified, relieved, inspired, and hopeful all at once. In that moment, everything I had went through up to that point was worth it. I am beyond grateful that I was able to end a trying year on such a positive note, with the man who continues to stay by my side to weather any storm that may come our way. To step into a new year with so much love and support from our family and friends. For the first time in this whole process, I felt loved and celebrated. It was an amazing and unmatched feeling.
So that’s it! That’s what I have been up to. I am happy to be back, focused and rejuvenated. Happy to be inspired again to share with all of you. Thank you for catching up with me. But mostly, thank you for continuing to support me throughout my growing pains. For acknowledging that I am human and granting me the patience and grace to find my way back. I love ya’ll, for real! All of you, this blog, it saves me in ways I could never properly explain. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.
What have you all been up to? Any reflections of 2020 you would like to share? I love hearing from you. Sending all of you lots of love. Until next time!
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