Mother’s Day: This Day is for You Too.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

Plato

I look inside our bedroom…

and draw my attention to the bed I made this morning. It was the first thing I did…after I sobbed upon waking up. I told myself that if I do not accomplish anything else today, at least I accomplished that.

Mother’s Day is a particularly rough day for me. Has been for years. With a strained relationship with my own mother since the age of 9, I struggled celebrating with loving intent and honor. But when you lose your own child, that initial pain transforms into a pain that feels unbearable to carry at times. With the loss of my baby last year, every holiday serve as a painful reminder, no matter how much I try to convince myself that I have come to terms and accepted it.

Funny enough, or maybe not funny at all, I almost forgot about Mother’s Day this year. Every month I organize my dry erase calendar, adding important reminders to the days of the month. When I organized the calendar this month, it did not even cross my mind. I honestly did not realize Mother’s Day was approaching until last week. I guess it makes sense in a way. How the subconscious tries to protect you from the pain lying dormant, deep within. Even after my realization that Mother’s Day was approaching, I felt fine. Realistically, most days I feel fine, even with the thought of my baby crossing my mind daily. I really thought I would be fine today.

What I forgot is grief has no expiration date.

I forgot that some days are much harder than others to operate ‘normally’ in society. I forgot how lonely it can feel in the isolation of pain, especially when it comes to loss. I understand the discomfort people feel with this topic. I understand the dismissiveness. The lack of compassion and understanding. I get it. Because unless you experience something like this, you truly do not understand the weight of this pain. How it sneaks up on you in the most inconvenient times, or especially in my case, on holidays when I should be celebrating instead of grieving. And I think the scariest part of all, is realizing that this pain may never go away. It does not get easier, no matter how much you try to adapt.

As my heart breaks with every word I type within this post, I do not ask for pity. I do not even ask for sympathy. Let this serve as a gentle reminder to give those who are grieving today a little extra love and care. Check up on them. Let them know that you are thinking of them. Praying for them. That they have a shoulder to lean on during this difficult time.

I think the biggest misconception people have…

is that it is better to remain silent when it comes to a loss like this. I am here to tell you it is not better. Do not be afraid to wish a bereaved mother a Happy Mother’s Day. Do not be afraid to contact the daughter or son who has lost her mother. Do not be afraid to send love to a woman who yearns to be a mother but has not been granted the opportunity. A person who yearns for a relationship with their own mother. Small acts of kindness such as this shows that you see this person and their pain. That they are not alone. That their pain is valid and acknowledged. For me, it means more than any of you could ever possibly know. The greatest gift that could be given to me from a loved one today is to honor the memory of my child along with me. Thank you to those who have contacted me with kind and loving words. I know I have not responded…but I will. Thank you for granting me time and space today and for not taking my distance personally.

To all of you experiencing pain and sorrow today, I am here. You are not alone. I see your pain and I am thinking of you.  It is okay to acknowledge your own pain and process it however your spirit sees fit. And know that when you are ready, you will find many reasons to celebrate and cherish a day like today. Rather than focusing on the entire day, I am going to take it hour by hour, minute by minute, and celebrate the small wins. I guess I have just accomplished something else today. Sending so much love to all the mothers and to those who may need it today. Happy Mother’s Day to all.

Resonated with what you read? Let me know in the comments below and be sure to click the ‘Like’ button as well. Also, don’t forget to hit the ‘Follow’ button to receive updates on new posts.

Author: Angie Soul

Like a lotus flower, I emerge from dark, murky waters to reveal my beauty. Feeling and healing on this journey of life; glowing and flowing. I have always loved writing, but it has taken me 29 trips around the sun before I had to confidence to share publicly. I hope my writing, which is near and dear to my heart, sparks light and love in others.

12 thoughts on “Mother’s Day: This Day is for You Too.”

  1. You’ve endured so much this past year. Don’t ever be quiet with anything at all. You angel in heaven is always looking down upon you, watching over you, you are a mother, a loving, caring one. I love you and wish you a Happy Mother’s day 💗👼🏽

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ang, I’m proud of you for speaking about this part of your life & being there for others even when you’re hurting about it too. You’re a beautiful soul & writer. It’s true what you said “Grief has no expiration date”…I understand that so well too. 😞. I think blogs like this remind women it’s not easy to go thru these types of things & it’s ok to be transparent about that. Your feelings matter. Healing begins when we become in tune with our emotions & be present in them, recognize them & try to make peace with them. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate your support and love always. Thank you for always being there. It was definitely difficult writing this but I constantly have to remind myself why I started this blog in the first place. First, to always honor my baby. And second, to always show people that they are not alone in how they feel and there is a beautiful light that shines in togetherness.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is such a beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss. Mother’s Day is such a hard holiday for many. I have not had the chance to become a mother yet and I am not sure if I will be able to. I actually just had a laparoscopy surgery for Endometriosis on Thursday before Mother’s Day and my doctor told me that my fallopian tubes are not open and I had a very severe case of it. So it is definitely not news you want to hear before Mother’s Day for sure. I always try to remember those who are hurting on this day too, and realize that it is a holiday for them as well. You wrote this out so well and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks so much for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for offering such kind words to me. It is so appreciated! I am so sorry you had to receive news like that. I can only imagine how painful it must feel. I have PCOS and I often wonder if I lost my child due to my condition. The best advice I can offer is to keep faith that one day you will be blessed with an opportunity to become a mother. I so hope you receive that blessing. Sending you so much love!

      Like

  4. Sending positive thoughts to you. I appreciate the reminder to reach out to those who may be suffering on days such as mother’s and father’s day. ‘grief has no expiration date.’

    Liked by 1 person

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